As I was spending time meditating on God’s Word, a particular verse stood out to me:
~1 Peter 3:7 “Likewise, you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” ~
Now granted, I am not married, therefore I can’t speak on my sentiments of this verse from personal experience, however it did make me ponder on a few characteristics of a prospective Christian husband that I should consider. Therefore, to the gentlemen out there that will be reading this, please accept my following comments in the love and peace of Christ :)….
What does it mean to “dwell with them according to knowledge”? Well, for my future husband to actually be my husband in the first place, the first “knowledge” he would have to possess is, of course, a knowledge of Jesus Christ. Christ is the Head of the Church, particularly the “covering” (lead) over the man (1 Corinth 11: 3), therefore that prospective man must know who His Lord is. And, how would a man know The Lord? He would need to be actively engaged in a deep relationship with Christ & His Holy Word ; I want a man who will pray for me and with me, to pray over our union and be fully surrendered under Jesus’ Lordship. If my future husband has not put his entire life/mind/body/soul/spirit under Christ’s guidance & blood, who is he serving & what’s guiding him in how to treat me & our relationship (Lk 16:13, Eph 5:25) ??
Additionally, my husband must also have knowledge of me (a man cannot honestly know me if he doesn’t know Christ first!) & of himself as a believer. This may sound like an obvious point that doesn’t need to be made (of course your husband would know you, some might say), but as I mention throughout this blog, being “equally yoked ” goes beyond he & I just being Christian. How many times have we become aware of married partners who go through life never really learning about each other, marrying only to find out afterwards incompatibilities ignored before, or married for years only to end up “growing apart”? Slow down men (& women) & take the time to know the intricacies of a woman’s heart, spirit, hopes,& mind! This way, when we’re married & have to “dwell” together, we’ll be equipped to bear with each other & appreciate each other…
“giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel…”
Here, I recognize that a Christian husband should give his wife honor & respect particularly in regards to two reasons: as being the “weaker vessel” and as “being heirs together of the grace of life”. Under the former reason, I should look forward to a husband who will appreciate & respect me not merely because I’m weaker in physical strength to him (although, that is important to the physical traits God endowed men with as opposed to women for enduring strenuous toil as in Genesis 3: 17-19), but that my feminine emotional nature should be addressed with tenderness and kindness. Husbands should refrain from harshness in speech or treatment, as well as are prohibited from cruelty (Col 3:19). We are not “1-of-the-boys”, nor are we any “chick” on the street. As Christian wives, we are women/ladies/your sisters in Christ, and therefore are to be regarded on a higher level from other women as Christ loved the Church (Eph 5:29-30) .
The 2nd reason supplied here for a husband to honor his wife is because Christian wives also share in the inheritance & rewards of Christ’s salvation (Eph 1: 3, 14; Phil 4:19). Husband and wives are complements to each other on the same path to Christ’s return. I wouldn’t even venture to say that a married couple is on “parallel” paths to Christ, because that would still denote a level of separateness, when the Bible clearly states that in marriage, both become one (Gen 2:24). Therefore, in Christ we have both received the gift of God’s grace & blessings, in order that we may be ambassadors of Christ to others by way of our union.
…“that your prayers be not hindered.”
Now, THIS element is a bombshell! Christian husbands, future husbands…please take heed to this warning, as this strikes to the heart of the result of striving to be “equally yoked”. It is so paramount, Christian men, to regard your wives with such honor that if you fail or fall short of the previous elements in this verse, your prayers to God would be in vain! This is a major responsibility & calling on men (not to say wives don’t have their own responsibilities in respect for their own husbands, which will be discussed in another post), which makes clear sense because an unbeliever could not meet this calling. Hence, how could a man under Jesus pray for God’s blessings when he physically/emotionally/verbally abuses his wife?? How can a man of The Lord expect God to listen to his petitions when God hears the louder cries of the wife at night from disrespect?? How can you face God in prayer with an unrepentant heart constantly degrading your wife?? It simply cannot work! The man would not only be acting “unequally yoked” to his wife, but also unyoked to Christ’s commands. Just as a wife is not independent of her husband, so is a husband not independent of his wife (1 Corinth 11:11-12). Therefore, if a husband treats his wife with disgrace, he is actually treating himself with disgrace (Eph 5: 28-30).
Although I didn’t mean for this post to be lengthy, it is with necessity that this snippet of God’s Word be meditated on for the profound life applications it holds for married couples. Christian men & husbands, God has called you to a high state, a “cut above the rest” in this secular world…don’t see it as a burden, but as the distictive honor that it is! As a follower of The Savior, you are a leading example to others for how men can be whole in Christ. You may not be perfect, as none of us are, but as a Christian woman, I can say that there is nothing like the authentic love of a Christian man. When a man is “taped into” the power of Jesus (as well as the wife), that relationship can move mountains and defend against demons!
So, to my future husband, if it be God’s Will and you are preserved out there in it, I am waiting & preparing for you!
May not your prayers be hindered! 🙂